Education without punishment

Children are dreamers and often live, as they say, in their own world. Therefore, it can sometimes be difficult to understand each other's behavior. For parents who want to take this appreciative approach to parenting, the question often arises as to how they can effectively implement this in everyday life. We will show you ways in which you can accompany your child consistently through his or her life - without punishment.

How does the development of children proceed?

Children go through different phases in their development, which can be roughly divided into three stages of life. The first phase is the sensorimotor phase. Toddlers up to the age of two are tied to momentary interactions with their environment and simultaneously coordinate sensory experiences with physical movement. Innate reflexes, such as swallowing, are further developed. Children between the ages of two and seven go through the preoperational phase. They begin to understand time by distinguishing the past from the future. Typical characteristics of this period are both magical thinking and egocentrism. The latter is due to the fact that children generally find it difficult to put themselves in other people's shoes at a young age. The last stage of development is the phase of formal operational intelligence. At this time, children and adolescents are able to demonstrate logical and abstract thinking and to formulate various hypotheses about facts that they have not specifically learned.

Tips for a relationship instead of parenting

Challenging situations regularly arise in everyday family life. In order to resolve conflicts, the interpersonal relationship between parents and children should be brought to the fore. Emotions and different needs lie behind the behavior. Children are basically team players and ready to cooperate. We will show you ten tips that you can integrate into everyday life together with your child.

1) Agreements

Agreements give children support and orientation. This makes them feel safe and at the same time teaches them the importance and significance of agreements in social environments. It is important that you formulate agreements with clear and relevant values ​​and needs for the family so that they can be discussed together and understood.

2) Clarity

If your child's behavior violates your established values, you should always react and try to help your child change his or her behavior. It is best to be on the same level as your child and to communicate using simple, clear words.

3) Certainty

You should be consistent when it comes to expectations of your child. For this reason, you should also ask and check whether your child has clearly understood the expectations and repeat them if necessary.

4) Physical contact

Make sure you maintain regular eye and physical contact. If you want to be consistent in a conflict, you can try to lightly touch your child on the shoulder. This can help avoid accusations and stress.

5) Structure

Try to integrate certain structures into your everyday life together. Regular daily routines can be discussed together in the morning at the breakfast table or in the evening for the next day. These sequences provide orientation and at the same time act as role models from parents to children.

6) Consequences

It is important to educate children about the responsibility of their behavior. It is a good idea to use clear and calm words to point out the natural consequences of their actions. Ask your child how you can best help and support them in difficult situations so that you can find solutions together.

7) Appreciation

Explain your appreciation to your child. Make it clear how you feel and which of your needs have been met. This will help your child to perceive and process both your feelings and his or hers. This leads to clear communication and avoids an overload of rewards.

8) Steadfastness

Stay strong. Children learn to communicate their own needs and emotions more quickly and clearly and to partially fulfill them themselves when they don't always get what they want straight away.

9) Creative solutions

Even the youngest children are creative and like to cooperate. Therefore, you can ask them for their ideas in certain situations and be amazed at the creative solutions they come up with.

10) Perspective

Your view and attitude towards your child and his actions are important for respectful interaction. It is especially essential to look behind your child's behavior when there are conflicts. A change of perspective can provide insight into certain actions and help you to better identify your child's needs.

Conclusion on accompanying children

Children need time to develop individually. Especially at a young age, they have more difficulty perceiving and understanding the feelings and thoughts of others. The connection with your child is crucial for a loving and respectful relationship. For this reason, as a parent you should be patient, learn to understand children, support them as they develop and enjoy each phase together.

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